Sometimes, Taylor Swift’s music just makes us feel seen.

Had a fight with your boyfriend? Plays "You're Losing Me". Had a quick fling and felt heartbroken? Plays "august".

But recent research on attachment styles and music preferences provides groundbreaking insights into how the songs we listen to, like Taylor’s, may reinforce your patterns of anxious attachment.

Attachment Styles and Music Preferences: the Groundbreaking Research

A study from the University of Toronto's psychology department exploring attachment and lyrical preferences showed that people with different attachment styles gravitate toward specific types of music that match their emotional experiences.

• Anxiously attached - prefer lyrics expressing themes of fear, longing, and dependency
• Avoidantly attached - prefer lyrics expressing emotional independence and distance.

These patterns suggest that the music we listen to doesn’t just mirror our feelings—it can validate and even reinforce them.

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Taylor Swift’s Lyrics and Anxious Attachment

Many of Taylor's songs explore the highs and lows of relationships, often reflecting themes that shows anxious attachment.

Here’s how her lyrics align with anxious tendencies:

1. Fear of Rejection and Longing
   • All Too Well:
     "Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much."
   • These lyrics capture the tendency to overanalyze and blame oneself, a hallmark of anxious attachment.
2. Clinging to the Past
   • Back to December:
     "Maybe this is wishful thinkin', probably mindless dreamin'."
   • This longing for reconciliation mirrors how anxiously attached individuals struggle to let go of past relationships.
3. Emotional Dependency
   • You Belong With Me:
     "If you could see that I’m the one who understands you."
   • This sense of yearning for validation and closeness is a common feature of anxious attachment.

Of course, Taylor Swift is just one of many anxiously attached artists. Often, we make art when our attachment is triggered and our emotions overwhelm us.

So it's only natural that much of pop music is anxious, avoidant or disorganize themed.

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How Pop Music Can Amplify Anxiety in Relationships

Specifically, music that has anxious lyrics like Taylor Swift's music:

1. Replaying Fears Through Music

The study suggests that anxiously attached listeners may repeatedly turn to songs that reflect their fears, like being abandoned or not being enough. This can deepen these feelings rather than soothe them.

2. Romanticizing Drama

Swift’s storytelling often portrays love as an emotional rollercoaster, normalizing the idea that relationships should be filled with highs and lows. While relatable, this can reinforce unhealthy expectations.

3. Validation of Insecurity

Lyrics that echo feelings of longing and self-doubt can feel validating, but they may also keep listeners stuck in patterns of overthinking and emotional dependency.

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The Role of Music in Shaping Attachment Patterns

The study highlights that music doesn’t just reflect how we feel—it can actively shape how we think and behave in relationships.

• Anxious Listeners: Songs with themes of rejection and longing can intensify fears and emotional dependency.
• Avoidant Listeners: Lyrics about independence may reinforce tendencies to avoid emotional closeness.

Taylor Swift’s music, while deeply comforting, may serve as a mirror for these attachment patterns, keeping listeners emotionally stuck if consumed without awareness.

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How to Listen Mindfully

If you love Taylor Swift’s music but want to avoid reinforcing anxious attachment tendencies, here are some tips:

1. Balance Your Playlist: Pair her emotional ballads with songs that promote self-love and empowerment.
2. Reflect on Your Feelings: Ask yourself how specific lyrics make you feel—do they help you heal or keep you stuck?
3. Use Music for Growth: Listen to songs that challenge unhealthy patterns and inspire resilience.

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An Album of Self-love and Empowerment

At Eden, we created an album that offers an alternate, healthy angle from pop culture iconic couples, like Joe and Clementine (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - anxious-avoidant couple), track 1 or Ross and Rachel (Friends), track 2

Listen to the album for free wherever you listen to music, here

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Fix Your Attachment, Upgrade Your Life

The Eden app makes fixing your anxious attachment easier by being the No.1 AI-powered all-in-one app:

• Daily Quests: Unlock daily quests designed to help anxious attachment and level up
• Help Mode: Access psychology-backed tools for self-soothing when you feel triggered.
• Intelligent AI Journal: Unlock your hidden patterns and get personalized suggestions as you journal
• Weekly Insights: Eden intelligently analyzes your journals and voice sessions to help break down patterns and insights

Loving Taylor Swift Without the Drama

While Taylor's lyrics can validate your feelings, they might also reinforce insecurities and relational anxiety. By listening mindfully and balancing her ballads with empowering music, you can enjoy her artistry without letting it shape your attachment patterns.

Music is more than just entertainment—it’s a tool for shaping your emotional world. It's time to start choosing the songs that help you grow.

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